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The problem is that this girl has left school, lives on Jobseeker’s Allowance (although who knows how she is going to get a job looking the way she does — twice-pierced lip, tattooed neck, pierced and shaved eyebrow), comes from a home which seems rather free and easy in the approach to parenting — is, in fact, everything that we are not.I am at a loss to understand why my daughter wants to be involved with someone like this. She goes wherever she wants (within reason), has any friend over whenever she wishes, is taxied (by me) everywhere.

After taking away her phone giving her chores nothing works.(The girl doesn’t work so can go to bed when she chooses.) My daughter ran up a £100 phone bill calling this girl on a mobile phone when I was at work etc.I’ve tried to talk and find out what it is she finds so appealing about the girl but she says she ‘just does’.In your case, your daughter is much younger, and so less able to know the truth of her own feelings. But a parent who is able to surprise a teenager is a wise one who will lead the way, dancing one step ahead in the complicated quickstep towards an adult relationship (yours and hers, I mean) which will last.She’s at school, with all that implies, and you are quite right to be worried if her new friend is a bad influence. I’ve told him I don’t want commitment, he says he understands and wants to continue our relationship, but I know he’s hoping I’ll change my mind.

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